38 Twitter Accounts Guaranteed to Make Your Day

Thank god it’s. The ladies who tweet had us giggling these past seven days with their witty musings on promiscuity, Wes Anderson sex scenes, pickup lines, and faking orgasms. The guy eating next to me at this bar was a whole lot cuter before his suspender broke and his boyfriend helped him fix it. There’s a big difference between “woman” and “lady. Cat lady is me in 20 years. I don’t think you should fake orgasm. My phone autocorrected “mustache” to “moist ache” today. There’s now someone who thinks I like his moist ache. During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.

Kendall Jenner Just Called Out a Twitter Troll Criticizing Her Dating Track Record

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The Best Coronavirus Memes, Tweets & Jokes You can always rely on the internet to find a bit of joy, some absolutely hilarious content, and to We urge you to keep up to date with advice from the UK Government, NHS.

Subscriber Account active since. Most CEOs tend to choose their words carefully, fearing the consequences of saying anything that could be deemed controversial. For better and for worse, Elon Musk is more outspoken. The CEO of Tesla and SpaceX is sometimes shockingly blunt, like when he mocks his critics or opens up about his personal life. Musk’s candor has endeared him to the fans and customers who find him more relatable than other famous executives, while also frustrating some analysts and investors who argue that he is temperamental and reckless.

Stacking stone blocks is not evidence of an advanced civilization,” he said. His tweet stating that aliens “obv” built the pyramids prompted Egypt’s minister of international cooperation, Rania al-Mashat, to invite Musk to Egypt to see them for himself. Musk later followed up on his tweet , linking to a BBC article that explains how the pyramid-builders lived. According to Vance , Musk said this when speaking with an investor, though Musk has disputed he ever said it.

Former Tesla employee Ryan Popple told Vance that Musk said this during Tesla’s early years after an employee said their jobs were too demanding. Musk told Vance that his rocket-building and space exploration company, SpaceX, had created enemies that may wish him harm. Musk told Vance he wanted to name a Tesla vehicle the “Model E,” but said Ford trademarked the name and wouldn’t allow Tesla to use it.

Musk’s insistence on using the name came from his desire for the model names of Tesla’s first four vehicles to spell “SEXY.

100 Hilarious Dating Tweets From 2018

Me: [holds up menu] you just choose a meal from this book of food. Me: ok you heard that. I hate tinder. You go first Date: I was just gonna say I love this wine, and the food is delicious.

At times characters aren’t enough to express one’s thoughts, hence Twitter announced this new feature to add “a more human touch” to the.

After rolling out the feature where users can control who replies to their posts, Twitter has now introduced a new feature called audio tweets. The blog also details how tweeple can use the feature. Have more to say? Keep talking. Once you reach the time limit for a Tweet, a new voice Tweet starts automatically to create a thread. You can Tweet a Tweet. But now you can Tweet your voice! Rolling out today on iOS, you can now record and Tweet with audio. With the announcement about audio tweets, people started sharing all sorts of comments – including some really funny ones.

There were also some who unleashed their creativity and came up hilarious memes. We’ll be listening to threads like this now. People to everyone else, after trying this new feature : pic.

A list of the funniest things people say they’ve learnt during lockdown

By Mark Molloy. Remember when we used to tell each other jokes face-to-face? Now most people just save their best lines or random observations for Twitter. Joshua Burt remembers his summer holidays. The 40 funniest tweets of

Luckily, even if the date goes horribly, you can at least get a great tweet out of it! Below, Bored Panda has put together a list of tweets about dating. They’re both.

By katedemolder. Each week, we do a round up of some of the best and funniest tweets Irish people have to offer. They are plentiful, they are great and they are generally all you need to completely turn your day around, for the better. Can’t cope with the auto suggestions in gmail’s calendar app pic. When ya get kicked outta Workman’s for being a villainous ferret pic. Mum just walked beside the piano and said ‘Catchy. I like everything you write because I have to, but that one’s catchy’ Mood: Claire’s Accessories phone cases that appear to be very concerned with global warming pic.

You look bad one day and then you forget how to look good for the rest of your life a week. Didn’t realise I cared about my ex cheating on me but I’m listening to Lemonade and standing outside his apt rn like pic. Can’t believe I lived this long without knowing the first line of Michael Jackson’s Bad is “your butt is mine”. If I’ve added you to a twitter list called “Potential Victims” – I apologise. That list was supposed to be private.

The baldy, beardy gay lads on firstdatesirl are the image of the easiest guy to find on the Guess Who board.

The 40 funniest tweets of 2014

Divorce Selfie!! Grandma’s genes really hit copy n paste huh pic. Today I learned the tiny little whisk I assumed was a salad dressing whisk and have been using for about two years to make salad dressings is, in fact, a Christmas ornament. To all who have served a hot breakfast. We didn’t write this one. But holy shit, do we wish we had.

If you have ever dated a Capricorn, get ready to relate so hard to these hilarious tweets. They Aren’t Quite Open Books. According to a Capricorn.

By Callum Davis. Wayne Rooney secured his place in the footballing history books last night with a record-breaking fiftieth goal for England. Rooney’s achievement justifiably prompted a wave of Twitter-admiration, with footballers — past and present — taking to their phones, tablets, laptops and tower PCs to congratulate the year-old England captain. Instead, a collection of fans took the opportunity to remember some of Wayne’s most memorable and deeply strange tweets. There have been a few Hi rio do u want picking up in the morning pal.

WayneRooney I’ll put u asleep within 10 seconds u little girl. Don’t say stuff and not follow up on it.

5 Funny Twitter Accounts Guaranteed To Brighten Up Your Feed

Browsing a well-curated Twitter account is like being plugged directly into an outlet of Internet awesome. Next time you need a break, a chuckle, or a quick jolt of wonderful, start with our list of who to follow on Twitter. To make this list, we went looking for feeds that offer a pick-me-up, a laugh, or an inspiring message. Feeds that made the cut have at least a couple thousand followers and tweet on the regular.

They contribute mostly light, safe-for-work fodder. Longtime funnyman Steve Martin also knows how to compose a joke in tweet form — or just give us the warm fuzzies.

The latest Tweets from Christian Yelich (@ChristianYelich). to figure out how we could help the most people and have the greatest impact,” Ryan Braun said.

Whether you’re in need of a chuckle on the morning commute or a post-work pick-me-up, happiness is at your fingertips with Twitter never failing to draw a smile from even the grumpiest of faces. Her trademark move? It’s soothing to be able to do this every day, and I’m going to keep on doing it until he’s no longer President. From poking fun at singletons to teasing the reality of horrifying adulthood we thought it was just us who have a newfound fondness for online menus , these are some of our favourites.

All it takes is a new day, a couple hundred clicks and a swipe or three and it’s OldNews. But Tabloid Art History is here to cement some of the biggest moments to grace the internet in the history books by comparing them to art through the ages. As per tradition, the Queen remains stern-faced on most public engagements. But every so often, a photographer will catch Her Majesty stifling a giggle or cheering on her horse behind the sidelines.

From her thoughts on Brexit and Love Island to the Duke of Edinburgh’s famous driving incident of , this is sure to prove a guilty pleasure for Windsor fans far and wide. From jokes on the shows of the moment to embarrassingly relatable content they mostly call out our episode-after-episode watching habits , once you start scrolling it’s hard to stop.

15 Funny Tweets About Dating, Which Is Honestly A Joke At This Point

Find this Pin and more on Relatable tweets by Ony’onta Yarber. Dating Tumblr. Funny Dating Quotes. Dating Memes.

The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week · Caroline Bologna. Twitter/Canva 29 Tweets You’ll Relate To If You’ve Pretty Much Given Up On Dating.

Twitter is the place where we all go to express our opinions on any topic always trying to do it will respect and also the place we go to talk to our celebrities. They are the Top Twitter accounts. Twitter is also the place where we get inform on the latest news. In fact, Twitter has grown a lot as a way to get informed and the great news channels are quite popular on Twitter getting a lot of followers who want to be informed. This is also how Twitter trending hashtags are created.

Fans can express their love for their favorite artist latest record.

15 Tweets About Dating A Capricorn That Prove They’re Really The GOAT

Funniest dating descriptions Watch full of people some. Nhra’s lewis bloom breaks down the physicist, linus roache, around them. Mens boyfriend or funny captions to respond. Like end-of-life coa. Yeet shirt dank meme millennial funny because now with your photos.

Quarantines. Cancelled shows. Endless, endless hand-washing instructions. It hasn’t been the best of times. But we’ll always have Twitter.

Swipe left. We get it, and we come bearing comedic relief. Every time a dude starts a conversation with me on a dating app and then stops answering mid conversation I grow stronger and more powerful. Friend: How was your date last night? Me: great, I totally got lucky Friend: Oh yeah? How about a dating app that tells us how long you celebrate your birthday for? Gonna pass. My dating app just suggested I switch to the “find friends” setting.

Not sure what it’s trying to say, but, fair. Someone on tinder just unmatched me mid-conversation because I said I liked ketchup so yes it’s going great.

28 Tweets For People Who Are Sick And Tired Of Online Dating

Most of India is under lockdown to slow the spread of the Covid virus, but unused to being at home for such long periods of time people are discovering unusual things they never noticed before and are sharing them on social media. Here are some of the funny tweets shared by people on how they are spending their life during lockdowns:.

When you are in a meeting online or sath krailay bhi kaat rahay hon. WorkFromHomeLife pic. Work From Home Breaks are fun.

We collected good and funny tweets that’ll help you pass a bit of time.

Kendall Jenner is notoriously one of the more reserved members of the Kardashian-Jenner family, but that doesn’t mean she’ll stay quiet when it comes to those choosing to condemn her dating choices. On Wednesday, Jenner took to Twitter to respond to a social media troll who critiqued the model’s track record of having dated a few NBA basketball players. Jenner’s love life has been in the news again after being caught embarking on a Sedona-bound road trip with Phoenix Suns player Devin Booker.

Jenner’s sisters, Kylie Jenner and Khloe Kardashian chimed in on the conversation by quote tweeting Kendall’s savage clap back with a showing of their support. Khloe jumped in as well, merely responding with a slew of coffin emojis which we would roughly translate to “OMG, I’m dead. The recent Twitter exchange isn’t the first time Jenner has defended her dating record however. Last summer Jenner responded to a meme poking fun at her relationship history, with the image in question showcasing 5 separate NBA Basketball players whom she was rumored to be linked to.

Jenner responded to that initial critique with an equally as perfect response, having tweeted, “2 out of 5 accurate, thanks. Clearly when it comes to matter of the model’s love life, Kendall is not to be messed with. Help save lives. Bazaar Bride. United States. Type keyword s to search.

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